The World's Philosophies Don't Work

When it comes to troubled teenage boys, the world attempts to handle them with band-aids. "Let's give them a diagnosis of ADD, ADHD, ODD, or RAD. Let's put them on medication. Let's take them out of school once a week and have them see a therapist so they can get stressed out even more when they get behind on their school work." There are other options than medication and mental health therapy.

Parenting troubled boys can be as prickly of a situation as growing a cactus in Antarctica. Sadly, in a lot of cases, the folks who should be supporting the adult(s) who are struggling to correct a defiant teen often come under much scrutiny. School teachers accuse them of not giving their children their meds before school or of allowing them to stay up too late. Friends and family tell the parents they created the monster and now they just have to deal with it. They get criticized for not having enough rules or not providing enough discipline and they get criticized if their rules or discipline are too strict.

Oftentimes, guardians of at-risk youth come to the place of giving up. They say, "I've tried everything! I've taken him for counseling. I've had him on medication. I've had his medication changed. I even sent him to a military school. No matter what I do, no matter what I try, nothing gets any better."

That's why I'm writing this blog - to share what I've learned in well over twenty years of working in this field.

I'm going to keep this first post simple. No matter how challenging your child is, he is still a gift from God. No matter how many things you've tried, there is still a God in Heaven who can get his attention. Don't lose hope.

Here are a few quick tips to hold you over until my next blog post:

1) Do not attempt to over talk a troubled teen. Yelling louder than he can sends him a message that he won. It gives him somewhat of a power trip. Staying calm is easier said than done, but it's a must when dealing with troubled youth.

2) Choosing your battles wisely is not always appropriate. You set the rules, and your son needs to follow them. End of story.

3) Bathe that boy in prayer! Pray for him when you go to bed at night. Pray for him when you wake up in the morning. Pray for him before each meal. Prayer changes things!


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