Girlfriend Woes

One weakness for a lot of teenage boys is the girls they get themselves into relationships with. Oh, parents, you better keep your eyes open! There was a day when it was the guys who were known to take advantage of the gals. But that day is past. Now it goes both ways. There are a lot of fast-moving females out there, and you owe it to your son to keep a close eye on any girls he expresses an interest in!

Just like with friends, it's essential that parents set some expectations as to what minimum age he has to be before he can get into a relationship, what kind of girl their sons can have a romantic relationship with, and to define what kind of relationships he's allowed to have.

Let's give some thought to those topics.

 

Minimum Age

In today's society it's common for second and third graders to say they have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. That's dangerous territory. It's teaching kids that relationships are games. Second and third graders don't know anything about love. That is way too young!

So what is the point of a romantic relationship? For a lot of middle-schoolers and high-schoolers, it's to love somebody and to be loved by somebody. It's so they don't stand out as being the only one their age who isn't in a romantic relationship. It's so they can have an intimate relationship that fulfills their sensual lusts.

God's intention was for people to not see relationships this way. But he created men and women to marry and to spend the rest of their lives together. For that reason, in my opinion, there is no need for anyone under the age of 15 or 16 to involve themselves in a romantic relationship of any kind. Even at that age, it truly depends on the young person. If he is stable, he's living right, he's working a job, and doing well in school, submitting to his parents' and teachers' authority, then maybe! But if he's not meeting all of that criteria, he's not relationship-ready.

Type of Girl

Before your son gets into a romantic relationship with somebody, he needs to know that he needs to talk to you about her first. If she's the right kind of a girl, there won't be anything embarrassing about that.

That girl needs to have a reputation of keeping herself pure. She should have a reputation of submitting to her parents' and teachers' authority. She ought not to be known to have one boyfriend one week and another one the next. She ought to dress in such a way as to not draw attention to every curve of her body. She ought to be a clean talker. She ought not to be a drama queen that talks bad about her parents and all of the authority figures in her lives. She ought to read her Bible. She ought to go to church. She ought to have a sweet spirit about her.

Type of Relationship

Today most teens think there's only one type of romantic relationship for those who aren't married - dating. The problem, however, with dating is that its purpose is to play the field, to have a lot of different experiences with different people, in hopes that you will eventually find the person you're going to marry. In dating relationships, boys and girls spend time alone together. And quite often, they find themselves in bed together and bringing a baby into this world outside of wedlock.

But there's a better way. Insist that any romantic relationship your son gets into must be a courtship. In other words, he and that girl will not ever, under any circumstances, be alone together until the day when they get married. If they want to go out to dinner, they either go on a double-date, or they take a chaperone alone. They don't hug and kiss on each other. They save their physical relationship for after they get married. The idea of a courtship is to only enter into one with someone you have serious feelings for. With someone you truly believe could become your spouse. It gives the girl a chance to develop a relationship not only with the boy but with his friends and family. And it gives the boy a chance to develop a relationship with the girl and her family.