Things To Cut Out
Believe it or not, there are some commonalities boys who are prone to get in trouble have in common!
Let's take a look at a few of the things you need to cut out of your son's life if you want to see improvements in his behavior!
Music
Music has a stronger influence on behaviors than most people realize! For that matter, a lot of parents know the music their teens listen to is hard on the ears, yet instead of taking the time to listen to the lyrics they're filling their minds with, they tell them to turn it down, to listen to it on earbuds, or to keep it in their bedrooms. Parents, you need to find out who your teen's favorite music artists are and then do some research on the lyrics. What's the song about? Is it about somebody doing drugs, going to jail, cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/etc? Is it talking about somebody getting drunk, killing somebody, being depressed, discouraged, or even suicidal?
Everyone's standards on music are different, but my suggestion is to only allow your teenage boy to listen to old-fashioned Christian music - the old time hymns of the faith! Or if you have access to some Psalms and other older-style spiritual songs, that would be great! Those songs talk about joy and hope, about serving others, about Jesus's love for us, counting our blessings, etc. You can't go wrong with that type of music!
Social Media Accounts/Cell Phones
Most teens are now carrying cell phones and on those phones they download a lot of social media apps that their parents don't monitor. Whether you know it or not, youth are getting more and more sneaky when it comes to social media. They are using names that aren't their own so their parents won't see their accounts. They're using social media sites that delete the images and texts they send right after the receiver has seen them. A lot of young people are waiting until their parents are sound asleep and then they're getting up around midnight or one or two in the morning and taking part in inappropriate group texts/chats.
Parents, if you're serious about regaining control of your teen, please consider taking away their cell phone, and conducting random searches of their belongings to make sure they haven't sneaked another one in. If you don't want him looking at pornography, planning to sneak out at night, etc, then why make it easier for him to plan those things? If you feel he absolutely needs one for whatever reason, then do your research. There are still cell phones out there that are not smart phones, that do not have internet browsers. Get them that kind of a phone! Or at least, at minimum, get a parental program that allows you to see everything your son is looking at and doing on his phone.
Friends
Ever heard the saying "You are who you hang out with?" If you allow your son to hang out with the wrong crowd, you might as well admit it - your son is the wrong crowd!
You need to have a list of criteria someone must have in order for your son to hang out with them. For example, it has to be someone who isn't trying to blend in with the world. Someone who doesn't have a bad reputation in school or in the community. Someone who isn't smoking cigarettes or vaping. Someone who isn't drinking. Someone who isn't skipping school. Somebody who goes to church with his family. Somebody who is known to be kind to anyone and everyone.
You choose the criteria that's right for your family, but set some standards and stick to them. You may not be able to control who your son talks to at school (well, actually you can, but that's a blog for another time), but you can control who comes to your house, who gets in your vehicles, whose house he goes to, and whose vehicle he gets into.
Video Games
You may think I'm taking this a bit far, but be careful what video games you allow your son to play. Just because they're rated for teens doesn't mean it's a good idea for teens to play them! Pay attention to what they're playing. Are they obsessed with games that contain violence, vulgar language, inappropriate music, etc? Even if the games don't contain immoral/inappropriate content, don't allow your son to spend so much time on video games that he doesn't experience much family time. God entrusted you to train up your child - not to allow that child to train himself in his room 24/7.
