The Root Of The Problem

No two troubled boys are exactly alike. Let me give you a few examples of struggling teens: (These are made-up names and circumstances that represent different personality-types)

Robby is 15-years old. He was adopted from a Ukrainian orphanage at the age of two. His adoptive father, that he loved dearly, passed away when he was seven. Robby is extremely self-centered. He doesn't think about anyone else. His thoughts, opinions, and feelings are all that matters. Robby has trouble making and keeping friends and doesn't understand why nobody likes him.

Josh is 14-years-old. His mother was a drug addict. When had involved in so many intimate relationships around the time she got pregnant with Josh that she had no idea who the father was. She tried to raise the baby, but her addiction issues caused her to lose him to the state on multiple occasions. Josh spent most of his preteen years in foster care but was adopted when he was 12. He's constantly stealing, lying, getting into fights, and skipping school.

Doug is 17-years-old. His parents divorced when he was 7. Both parents have been involved in his life throughout the years. They get along great with one another and live close enough that Josh can stay with either of his parents and it not affect his schooling. Doug is of the opinion, and has been for several years now, that nobody should be telling him what to do. He is mature enough to make his own decisions. He can smoke if he wants to. After all, it's his body and his future. He can curse all he wants to. It's his mouth. His parents can try to ground him, but unless they put bars on the windows and deadbolt the doors, he'll slip out in the middle of the night. And he knows they won't do that. They wouldn't want to risk getting into legal trouble!

Tim is 16-years old. He was raised in a two-parent Christian home. He grew up feeling like his parents rules were too strict. He often played his mom against his dad. When one parent told him no, he would secretly go and ask the other parent. Then when one said yes, and the other said no, he would turn his parents against each other, and he would get his way. Within the last year, Tim's parents have begun cracking down on this. Now they talk to each other about every decision before either of them ever tells Tim yes. As a result, Tim has gotten so angry he's resorted to acting out physically. Throwing things, punching holes in walls, refusing to accept consequences, shoving his mother, and even punching his father on rare occasion.


 

You get the idea! When someone says they have a troubled teenager, you might know exactly who or what they are dealing with. And what works for one situation might not work for another!

That's why, as I continue this blog, I plan to focus different posts on different personality-types.

I hope to answer as many questions as I can as we go along!

Next week, I plan to post a blog that deals with setting appropriate expectations and on how to get your troubled teen closer to meeting those expectations. Be sure to follow my blog!



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